About Alex
Hi, I’m Alex—I use they/them pronouns.
I’m a Peer Support Specialist and a fitness professional who provides dynamic, unique experiences to help people help themselves through their journey in life. Thank you for visiting my page!
Just like you…I carry many identities and roles. For years, however I was really confused about what “authentic power” really meant to me. I was the person who said they were an open book without actually using my voice. Truth was, I was buried under decades of stories, expectations and identities I thought were mine…but they weren’t. As an artist; a drag performer, a podcast host with my wife Kim and a storyteller, I feel that vulnerability and expression is an art that creates avenues in how we are shown who we are. Confusion is a skill set…regardless of what they want you to believe.
I’m not expecting you to move through the world like me. I know you won’t because you’re you. I do hold a deep belief in people’s ability to transform themselves. How? Because I’ve done it. One of my favorite quotes is, “The only way out is all the way through.”
I created Coach Alex Vaughan to help people navigate themselves through the messy and provocative journey of life.
And, here’s the thing: Transitions aren’t only for transgender/gender queer people. Transitions happen when one person decides to change. When one person transitions, everyone transitions. True change happens from the inside out through self-reflection that builds awareness. It’s quite literal magic.
I grew up in a family system where the possibility of understanding your internal power, owning your identity and interacting with your own lived experience was not discussed. I learned that ignoring ourselves is not selfish but this gets confused with knowing your Self. Capital S. Silence is not golden as far as I am concerned because it was the silence and neutrality that almost killed me. The absence of language and words inevitably work to gaslight people out of themselves.
I shared I am gay at age 19 and began to perform as a drag king—the first space in my life where I found safety in self-discovery. Drag is an art that brings deep joy. On stage, I caught glimmers of myself and it fed me courage. The truth was as a trans queer kid who didn’t know they were trans and queer, life felt constantly terrifying.
One day in my mid-30s, I found myself sobbing at the kitchen table over Brene Brown’s blog, The MidLife Unravel. I felt something in me that was waiting to be seen and acknowledged. By that point, I was a mother and I trusted that anything authentic about me was not going to make me unloveable or unworthy of feeling alive. My kids were watching and how I treated myself would absolutely affect them. I deserved and needed to know myself– it was my birthright. We all need people with whom we connect to pull the authentic through us.
Talk about power.
Sharing my identity involved a battle in family court that took up 5 years of my life. I acted as an ally and advocate to myself and my family through post-separation abuse and stood up for my children’s autonomy.
I spent most of my professional career in the fitness industry as a personal trainer, health coach and group fitness instructor. Having struggled for years with disordered eating patterns and perfectionist expectations of how my body should look, I leaned more into spirituality combined with understanding marginalization and oppressive systems.
Every part, every story, every experience has value.
Finally at age 40, I shared publicly I am trans and nonbinary, introducing myself to my packed fitness classes as Alex and using the pronouns that matched me. Amidst my gender transition, I continued to build a huge dance fitness community, driving from my own pumping heart, wanting people to feel connection within themselves and with those around them in the spaces I create. After decades of feeling suffocated by shame, every time I dance the waters run more and more clear. Dancing is one pathway through my recovery.
There came a point where I knew I needed another big change. After working at a very large fitness company for over 15 years I started having panic attacks before having to go into the building and vomiting before my classes. Ultimately, I felt so ill by the environment because the infrastructure in community engagement and belonging did not exist. Self-care techniques cannot outrun oppression. If we looked at supremacy as an addiction, it is allyship work, advocacy, and being an accomplice that heals our bodies, minds and hearts. My years in the fitness industry taught me how the principles of allyship are not that different from building muscle…
With the care and support of my wife, Kim, I put in my two weeks notice, not knowing where life was going to take me next. A month later, I was accepted into the LGBTQIA+ Peer Specialist Training through Loving Beyond Understanding under the mentoring of internationally known Peer Recovery Coaching Facilitator and motivational speaker, Sparkle Lindsay.
BOOM. Life became more colorful again.
Being surrounded by people who saw me, valued my lived experience and had the ability to listen was truly transformative. Pulling in 8 aspects of wellness, my coaching approach is rooted supporting you trust your instincts and build a life that aligns and feels true.
There are no mess-ups, just mini solos. This is life, authentic connection and your vision of hope.
